Archive/Dongs 2021

Some really old stuff on his twitter.

Shame it's his famously big dick but...

I'm a close friend of his, and I think he's about to make the biggest mistake in his life. It's such a shame. He's one of the best men I know. He's kind, charming, intelligent, witty, caring, and even socially conscience – even if his belligerent hard line politics are a bit short sighted – he deserves as much happiness in life as possible. But his current move out of London and future wedding is gonna destroy everything from sheer hypocrisy and naivety.
He's mentioned numerous times that his partner has another boyfriend. There is nothing wrong with that. I know if Jai were to read this he'd just dismiss this as heteronormativity propaganda, but the problem he's made for himself is about how he has gone about it. But by buying a flat together, marrying them and building a essentially separate future together he as laid the ground work for everything to fall apart.

The main problem is that Jai acts as if he's an outlier. When I first met him a year or so before he met his partner, he was very different. He was more sexual, revelled in his singledom, and the idea of monogamy and to a lesser extent marriage itself were looked upon with derision. Once he met his current partner his priorities changed. The issue is by perusing the life he is with his partner, he is acting as if the other boyfriend will never want these. However in the end everyone wants some semblance of monogamy. They may want a place of their own. They may want the mundane life of quotidian intimacy. They may want to build some sort family unit – whether it's with dogs or with cats, or if they are really naïve, children. And in some cases they may want to get married. On the face of it individually they can be worked into a long-term polyamorous arrangement. However Jai has basically decided to go for all of them. At some stage in the very close future the other boyfriend is gonna move past the hedonistic part of his life like Jai did and start looking towards his future and want some of these two. But because Jai has gone for all of them, he never will be able to, many if not all of them are difficult or impossible to have with more than one person.

He may currently say he doesn't want any of this at the moment. One possibility is that he is just lying in order not to rock the boat and loose his partner. The other is he hasn't reached that point of his life year yet. Jai is in his late thirties, and only in the last year or two pursued this more settled life. Like his partner (who is about ten years younger) the other guy is younger than Jai too. Gay guys tend to only go for those things later in life because, one our generation doesn't tend to have the money for it yet and that we constantly told in the community that it's heteronormative to chase a settled life. Jai has basically taken the others guys chance to build the foundations of a future with his partner because he hasn't reached the part of his life where he looks towards that.

Jai is a very vocal socialist and stringent in his support of an egalitarian society. Any element of a class structure and Jai – quite rightfully- immediately hates it. But the problem is he has created a class based structure in his own relationship. Jai has bought a flat with his partner, marrying them, starting a business. At the moment by taking every choice off the table for the other partner he's basically become the bourgeois in his relationship. As someone who cares so much about equality, how can he take so much from another man, with giving anything back. Beside giving up meat, what has he permanently given up in his future with his partner so that the other guy can have that as part of his relationship?
This is made worse by the move being so far away from London, rather than finding somewhere in London. I know there is financial constraints but if he's so desperate to find a place where he can have control, he could of easily rented a place with somewhere like Fizzy, without jeopardising his or his partners relationship. If the other partner is moving up north, Jai has basically forced him to. He may be okay to, but he hadn't planned to move and now has to in order to avoid being forced in to a long distance relationship. If he isn't moving up north, Jai HAS forced him to what is essentially a membership card rather than an actual relationship so that he can move to a village he had never been to before deciding to move their. Normally a long distance relationship is fine because it only temporary and you normally can build a life together in some form afterwards, what does the other partner got to look forward to... nothing.
I know Jai will say it's necessary to help his mental health, but that wont work either. Moving doesn't help your mental health. The feeling you get their when you're on holiday doesn't last for ever. Moving up their without addressing the key reasons for our depression or anxiety wont change anything. When you're there on a trip you can leave life behind, but once you move their permanently life comes with you and so does the mental health problems,
His mental health problems will probably get worse once he's single handedly destroyed either his or the other guys relationship, and staying off Twitter instead of constantly replying with hate to those with horrific political positions will probably do wonders, more than moving to the middle of nowhere. He continuously complains about the anxiety induced by selfish people during the pandemic, but moving to a village he has tweeted about having anti-lockdown hippies wont do wonders for his anxiety either.

part two

And if all you do is walk the dog, watch TV, play computer games, read books and comics and eat copious amounts of overly ethical food, why drag someone else's partner 300 miles up the road to do it. Especially with the economy the way it is. I hope he gets to continue his working from home with his current job cos other wise they are fucked. He moving to one of the most economically stable place to one of the worst hit parts of the country in the midst of an economic downturn that is only slowly showing itself as catastrophic, this will only get worse as we hit a second peak and Brexit (deal or no deal) happens in December. Good luck getting that pottery business of the ground. But I digress...
If the other partner asks every one to move to Scotland or another part of the country, will he offer the same courtesy? Some how I doubt it.
If you go back to Marx this will always be a problem. The increasing polarisation between will make this more and more unstable. No matter how much communication they have, it will not be able to reconcile increasing unreconcilable priorities. What is worse is all the things Jai is asking the other person to give up to make this work that will have knock on effects in the future. In just marriage alone he is stopping he other guy ever getting, official recognition for his relationship, if something happens to his shared partner, he may not be able to see them in the hospital, he has not tax exemptions, no legal protections, no pension or default inheritance rights. By not being able to buy a place with his partner, Jai may have subjugated him to a life of constant renting as he may not ever be able to get the money to buy a place that he other wise would have if it was just him and his partner and Jai wasn't there. This is plainly unfair, and shows that this will get increasingly more so the further Jai is willing to keep all the perks of a relationship to himself.

If Jai goes ahead with moving to Hebden Bridge he will lose everything he is trying to build and some. I know none of what he does is, is done maliciously, but if he really does care about keeping both relationships alive and the true meaning of equality, he must not leave London, just yet, nor should he marry his partner . He needs to find a way to bring a more egalitarian relationship and bring all three of them into more of a unit. Not that he has to start a relationship with the other guy. In polyamorous of this more linear type, the ones I've seen succeed have created the semblance of a single unit. One may be the husband, the other the boyfriend, but they may live together for example. Currently the two relationships are two trains chained together but on two train tacks about to diverge and their gonna pull each other of the rails. Jai must stop everything until they come to a more unified arrangement so they can run along the same track.

I hope he doesn't read this. I'm scared that if he did, the anxiety might ruin everything anyway. Jai is an amazing guy, if sometimes short sighted. Even if he did he wouldn't listen. In recent years and the political situation in this country has worsen, he's become more jaded, less likely to discuss anything he doesn't agree with, and just call you intolerant or stupid before blocking you. I care so much for him, it's why I don't say anything. I don't want him to cut me out of his life. But I have to speak up on here. I hope I'm wrong, or that he realises this himself and makes the appropriate precautions. Jai and his partner make such an amazing couple, especially without the gorgeous greyhound Saru, and I would hate for anything to happen to them. But I'm scare in the pursuit of this future with them, it will destroy everything, by taking it all away from the other guy.

I just laugh at Jai's old tweet about how monogamy was a misnomer, but to be honest with the way he's going about polyamory is the bigger misnomer.

so much text for someone so fug. good luck w/ that. lol

>>255792

He doesn't owe the other partner anything. At the end of the day, everyone is choosing to stay in the relationship knowing full well the current situation. The other guy is also choosing to marry him, not the boyfriend (i.e. he is also making a greater commitment to one than the other). Is the whole thing fucked up and doomed? Maybe, but you phrasing it as if he is "stealing the future" away from the boyfriend, is also completely wrong and fucked up.

Can we move past that creepy weirdo with way too much time on his hands. I wanna see his his dick. I'm sure someone out their must have his stuff. He's been a proud slut for years. I'm desperate to see what's under his briefs.

Okay yes that was too long, and I worded things wrong. I'm just saying that he's a hypocrite to talk about comprising and communication is vital for a relationship when he seems to not done either. He's unfair to force someone to move up north or into a long distance relationship just so they can move in together in a random village. He's naïve to believe that the other guy's priorities won't change like his did and he'll continue to be okay unable to build the similar future with his partner that Jai did, and he's a hypocrite again for going on about equality and dismantling class structure to basically implement in the closet and most important part of his life and that all of it is gonna fall apart because of it. Yeah I must come across creepy, but I dont care. I just wish I was in London so I could tell him face to face.

Just fuck off and show us his dick. He's not fuck ugly. Just because he's not got rippling muscles doesn't mean he isn't gorgeous. And he has more personality than any of these gym gays, and that lifts him up from being cute to sexy. We all have our tastes, but that doesn't mean he's fug just cos you don't like him.

So much talking for a pic sharing site. Hilarious that you think anyone read that. Yeesh, GET A HOBBY! Shut up and share pics ya psycho.

It's a few years old, but I would still jump in that bed with him.

>>255792 this is crazy test lol. and im not going spend time read it for sure

>>256259 youre a psycho LMAO

TBH is they do break up it will more likely that each of their personal mental health will burn them both out. Moving won't sort it. Running away from these issues won't change what's causing their depression/anxiety. He tweeted today and it sounds like that start of a viscous cycle. Each of them get warn out supporting the other ones mental health. Then in turn needs support afterwards. I can see at some point (especially being trapped together in a tiny village) they may have to break up because they love each other as it will become too much and the cycle needs to be broken for the sake of both of them.

I know from personal experience it becomes increasingly impossible to support someone with mental health issues when you have to cope with your own without their being a catastrophic breaking point because it just builds and builds. I can see this ending all in tears.

>>257433 Love is a powerful thing and makes you overlook all kinds of warning signs.
But it is true to never engage with someone who has serious mental health issues. No matter if you have your own or not.
Mental health problems need to be dealt with first before entering a relationship.
A bf wont undo the damage of years of abuse.

>>257469
I don't believe that you should completely forgo relationships because you have depression. I do agree that his relationship probably wont last very long however. You need to be with someone who understands or willing to understand depression and has the strength and the ability to support you whenever they need. They currently only have one of the two. Neither will be to always be their for the either entirely cos they have their own mental health to worry about. You can't fully escape your own daemons when half the time you are either worrying about or supporting the other person, to fully set yourself free of your own mental health chains.
It's going to be worse for them, because they are literally ripping themselves away from their support network. The says he has friends in Leeds, but their not as close as his friends in London and even then they are miles away so the much needed personal contact with other people to help staying sane will be hard to come by. So when the inevitable happens and they both have a downer at the same time, there wont be anyone who can shoot round and support the both of them, at least for a while.
They think moving is going to help them, but they're wrong. I agree with the guy before, going to that village for a few days is one thing, and can be very helpful cos the change of scenery can help you sweep your life to one side, but that only works for a short time. Moving doesn't address the root causes and after a while the issues with their mental health will return.
That on top of only having each other for company to start with and having nothing to do in a village unlike in a city where you have many places to take your mind of things, but when it is just you walking your dog in a field for the umpteenth time, your mind will wonder and become your worse enemy. In that situation with limited social contact and activities your mind is going to dwell on every little thing more than otherwise. Hebden Bridge is gonna be a tinder box.

Why has no one noticed all this stuff in their relationship?

If they love each other that much maybe it would be kinder to split up, to allow each other to find someone who is strong enough to be there mentally for them before they slowly bring each other down to suicidal levels by a sheer cycle of exhaustion as they keep trying to keep not just themselves up but the other person as well.

He must be blinded by love if he's willing to drag himself and another depressive from their support networks, including another boyfriend, and enter in to what will become the most anxiety fuelled kind of relationship you can have as you try to balance elements of monogamy and the tenants of polyamory, and all those increasingly competing and incompatible priorities.

You're all a bunch of weirdos

I think if this was true, their friends would have sat them down by now.

>>257662

It's not that he's blinded by love as such. He's never been in a long term relationship before, so he's not able to spot the warning signs that someone who's been in one before can handle. He fell in love and perusing it without realising the red flags down the line. Love and communication can't repair fundamental issues.
But with his mental health issues and his fixation on equality, maybe he should have noticed.

>>257666 I doubt it, Jai seems really belligerent if anyone questions the validity of polyamory even slightly. He acts like its homophobic if you even dare question it as nothing but infallible. He practically brags about being poly by having I in his twitter bio. Like, who does that outside Grindr...seriously??? Maybe his friend don't want to cross that line.

>>257668 Mental health is a very tricky thing to deal with. They may be scared to say something in order to not bring on a downer. Better to not cause a certain dip in mental health for the sake of a potential tsunami down the line perhaps.

So are we all agreed this just feels ill-fated.

Or they could just eat a burger. You google depression and vegetarianism, there are so many studies linking the two. And jai reported lack of libido, another symptom from being veggie. I may be just taking the mic out of you wackos.

Maybe it's better than the pain down the line is to let the other boyfriend build a life with his partner instead of with him. The other boyfriend gets all the freedoms that Jai was going for, and Jai can find someone who can be their to support him mentally all the time, and allows him to have that freedom too. Sometime when you love someone the best thing to do for them is let them go.

Wow, so erm... you're saying his relationship has two ticking time bombs, trying to settle down while being polyamorous and the mental health spiral. If he's not divorced and living with his parents by 40 then I'd be surprised.

You're all just mad. I just wanted to see his , and I quote, “Godzilla dick”. And its turned into fucking Jeremy Kyle. I hope Jai reads this and is inspired to prove you all wrong. Or at least put his dick pick up to gag you all. It would hopefully change the subject.

Once upon a time I met a guy. We were complete opposites but strongly attracted to each other.

The issue was he identified as straight.

The only time he ever had sex with a women was fifteen years before. Since then he only had sex with men. But he was adamant that he was straight.

When I tried to talk about it he told me I was projecting my own issues on him and that I was a psycho.

Eventually my brain overruled my heart (dick) and I got out.

Never ignore red flags.

You can't always help.

Some people do need therapy under the supervision of a professional.

Let's move on from the stupid agony aunt shit. Has anyone got a dick pic. He's/was a self described slut, I'm sure someone must have at least one somewhere.

You failed. He's moved now...

Now has anyone got his dick pic...PLEASE!!!

Any one got a dick pick of him. So surprising a previous slut has nothing of him out there.